We’re going on a boar hunt

We’re going on a boar hunt,
We’re going to catch a big one,
What a beautiful day, we’re not scared.

Oh-uh, a forest, the deep, dark Forest of Dean…
I don’t want to walk over it,
I don’t want to walk under it,
Oh well, I’ll just have to go on Daddy’s shoulders.

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We’re going on a boar hunt,
And it looks like we’re in luck,
A footprint, a very clear footprint…

I don’t want to walk over it,
I don’t want to walk under it,
So, I’ll just poke my finger in it.

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We’re going on a boar hunt
We’re going to catch a big one.

In fact, if this trail of footprints is anything to by (and really were left by wild boar, as Daddy claims),
Then we’re going to come across a small army of them at this rate.

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We’re going on a boar hunt,
We’re going to catch a big one,
What a beautiful day, we’re not scared.

Oh-uh, a walk, a terrible long, deathly dull walk and not the “10 minutes or so” as Daddy claimed at the beginning.
I can’t now get out of it, and I’m definitely not staying here on my own.
Oh well, I’ll just have put on my sulkiest look and pretend I’m miserable (now).

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We’re going on a boar hunt,

We’re going to catch a big one,
What a beautiful day, we’re not scared…

Uh-oh, alone – I’ve been left all alone.
The meanies.
(And the last time I saw him, Daddy was glancing anxiously at the map, so we’re probably lost.)

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We’re going on a boar hunt,
We’re going to catch a big one,
And – sucker that I am – I’m beginning to believe Daddy when he says this clod of earth I’m holding was dug up by a boar while it was rootling for food.

Not sure anyone else does, though.

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We’re going on a boar hunt,
We really might catch something.

Look! Look! Some poo!
It’s all shiny and black like coal, and Daddy claims it’s definitely wild boar, looks very fresh and was probably only left here late last night.

Like he’s an expert on these things.

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We’re going on a boar hunt
We’re going to catch a big one,
What a beautiful day…

Crikey, there really is poo everywhere.
What on earth were they doing here last night?

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We’re going on a boar hunt,
But Daddy’s wandered off into that conifer plantation on a frankly transparently flimsy pretext that he might be able to scare some of the boar that are supposedly hiding in there into the clearing.

Bet he can’t, and he just ends up taking pointless shots of sunshine coming through the trees.

Yup.

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We’ve been on a boar hunt,
And we didn’t see any.

Uh-oh, we’ve run out of Oreos,
Oh well, it doesn’t matter, because that nice man Pete had chocolate brownies, malt loaf, biscuits and then some, so I’ll just have to tap him up and see what more I can coax out of him.

And – more importantly – we’re finally going home!

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